Innocence Lost
by KhaleesiEatTheRude
Summary: Shilo's relationship with her dad is not as innocent as she thinks. Locked up all her life, she doesn't know about the ways of the world. She doesn't see that her father loves her too much. *Incest, not graphic*


My first Shathan fic, and it's disturbing. What can I say?

Thanks for clicking on it. I hope you'll like it and leave a review.

Just like all my stories, this is unbeta'd. English is not my native language, so there might be mistakes.

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NATHAN

He did not even remember when it had begun. He remembered that it had happened at night. He was holding her. She looked so much like Marni that he could not resist. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. He had expected her to push him back (which was the right and wise thing to do), but instead she had responded. Her lips had moved against his, and realization had dawned on him. Shilo had never been outside, so she did not know the ways of the world. She was not a little girl, but she was still innocent. She didn't know.

Nathan knew that he should put an end to it. He had killed his wife (an accident indeed, but he had killed her), he had drugged his daughter's blood in order to keep her with him forever, he killed people and took their organs. Just being a Repo Man meant that he was a monster. He did not need one more reason to be called a monster. And pedophilia was a really good reason to accuse someone of being a monster instead of a man.

However, stopping it was not easy. Often Shilo kissed him first. Poor thing thought that this was just another way for them to show their affection and their love to one another. And when she kissed him, he was powerless. He forgot how wrong it was. He just gave in. He kissed her, tasted her, held her, held on to her as though for dear life.

One night he attempted to put his tongue inside her mouth, and she laughed. She thought that it was a ridiculous thing to do. Nathan had been patient; he had explained everything to her. Shortly after that moment, Shilo had become an expert at French kissing. She still had no idea that it was wrong. She was not even suspecting that it was not right or appropriate. She was just glad that her father loved her and showed it to her. Nathan, however, hated himself afterwards.

Every time he left her so that she would sleep, he decided that he would put an end to it. And every time he saw her, he remembered how much like Marni she was, how it felt to have her soft lips against his. She was his and his alone. No one would ever take her from him.

As time passed, he fell deeper and deeper into the abyss. He hated himself, he wanted to kill himself, he wanted to send her away, he was losing his mind. And yet, every time they kissed, his inner turmoil ceased - only to begin again when he was alone. One night, as he was in his bedroom and losing himself in his thoughts, he did the most unspeakable thing he had done so far. He touched himself while thinking of Shilo. He imagined being inside her. He even cried out her name when he was done. Fortunately Shilo did not hear him.

But that wasn't the end. He had hoped that after pleasuring himself he would be free, that he had found the needed release. But he could not have been more wrong. His body responded to Shilo's kisses in a way that no father's body should respond to his daughter's touch. Shilo did not understand a thing. When her daddy kissed her neck, she giggled and did the same to him. She had no idea what she was doing to him, how she was tormenting him as he felt her lips and her tongue on his neck.

"I love you, precious", he told her.

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SHILO

Shilo hated the fact that her father kept seeing his dead wife in her. She was Shilo, not Marni. She wanted to be loved by her dad because she was Shilo, not because she was a second Marni.

She started to truly believe in god when her dad kissed her on the lips for the first time. After that time he was spending a lot of time with her and he was more affectionate than usual. He loved Shilo now, Shilo for who she was.

Sometimes he seemed to be troubled. Sometimes it seemed that he had not slept at all at night. She supposed that it was because of his job. Perhaps he had a dying patient that he could not save. Maybe he had lost a patient. Perhaps, after seeing so many deaths, he was afraid for his daughter. When she saw him like this, she would sit in his lap and kiss his lips tenderly. She wanted to show him that she loved him, that she would always be there for him, that even though he could not save all his patients he would always be her superhero.

One night, as they were kissing, her daddy's hand moved from her waist to her breast. She asked him what he was doing. he said that he wanted to hear her heart beating, to make sure that she was okay. She smiled as her dad's words filled her with love and kissed him behind the ear because he was ticklish there. He was so sweet when he laughed. And that was why Shilo often tickled him.

One day, she woke up and found her dad sitting on her bed. He kissed her (French kissed her as he called it, although she had no idea why it should be called like that), and his hands moved under her nightgown. He tickled her and she laughed inside his mouth - she was ticklish as well, maybe she had inherited it from him. His head soon followed his hands under her nightgown. She was cold, but his lips felt warm on her skin. She wasn't exactly sure what he did to her then. First he warned her that it might hurt a little in the beginning. And then he was kissing her between her legs. She didn't know that kissing could make her feel like...that, but it did. It made her feel really good.

When she finally went out and met Graverobber and his clients, she noticed something odd. Graverobber's clients were touching him the way her dad was touching her. That did not make any sense. She was even more confused when she saw Graverobber with Amber Sweet. They weren't family (Shilo wasn't even sure that they were friends), so why were they acting like this?

After the opera, after her daddy's death, Shilo met Graverobber again. He explained everything to her. He hated her daddy for what he had done to her. How could he? He was a worse monster than she had believed him to be. That was why he had tried to put a distance between the two of them the last few months. He had finally realized what he had been doing. He had finally felt the shame, the wrongness of it all.

She hated him, she really did. And yet, she had had a bond with him that not even his monstrosities could break. A part of her still loved him. And she hated herself for it.

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So, that's it. I don't really know how I feel about it, but I wanted to write some Shathan, so I wrote this thingie. Before or after reading my story, you can watch this really great vid (without the spaces of course): : / / www . youtube watch ? v = aGLjUyvUwIk

The cover is made by lebzpel on deviantart.

Reviews are my Zydrate!


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